Kids acclimation, step-by-step. Not so easy.

Nadia to me: "Mommy, I think Israel is not for us."
She is implying that we should wrap up this experiment and return back to Boston. She has had hard time in the past two weeks, refusing to go to school, crying at separation, missing her US friends. Her teacher and the school director are very understanding and wrap her in love and attention during the meltdowns. She has a good class and supportive friends who sincerely care for her. Still, she clearly doesn't feel comfortable at the school yet.

Naor had recently snapped at her making us realize that she has been coming to him for consolation during class breaks in these first two weeks of school. Both of them had not mentioned this up until now and it makes us simultaneously happy of their connection yet sad that she suffers. We are surprised that it is especially hard for Nadia because she has a strong character and a friendly nature. She has started a full day daycare at the age of 15 months with a big smile and has been surrounded by friends ever since.

Now, the fast school pace and the excessive noise seem to take her out of this natural equilibrium. However, we believe that it is slowly getings better day after day. It seems that her will is taking control. Following the advice of her teacher, she has cut the school good bye to minimum sending me home as soon as she crosses the class door. She joined the school choir, yet is not always keen on going. A few days ago she surprised us with a set of masterful drawing (something that neither of our kids have been interested or good at before). We realize that this is a quiet escape for her during the hectic school breaks but trust that she will find a golden middle between being alone and playing with the friends.

We love the school yet there seems to be some lack of order that we used to in the US. Three weeks into a school year and one week before the holidays we still have not received the school-year calendar. The daily schedule has been changing in the first two weeks leading to the kids' confusion. There is a school website with forums for parent-teacher-kids communication and latest changes are usually posted there along with the homework but you have to login and check for this updates daily. There are ten various textbooks and same amount of workbooks as well as numerous folders that should be brought to school when the corresponding class is on. Confusingly some tex books are named differently than their subjects making it almost impossible to understand what needs to be packed daily. It seems to be specially hard for newcomers like us, although both kids mention that quite a few of their 11 year old and 8 year classmates cried in frustration during the first weeks.

Naor is much less sharing about his feelings. He seems to have found the way to be one of 'them' yet staying a careful outside observer. During recess he joins in on popular local games - POWs (שבויימ) and dodgeball (מחניימ). After school he admits to being occasionally overwhelmed and seeks solitude in his room.

There is something suspiciously surprising that we didn't have in our private elementary school in the US. Auditions! There is a school choir and a school dance troupe that are free yet require an entrance test. Never before have our kids been told that they can't be in because they lack the talent. Nadia got accepted to choir but not to the dance troupe. Naor didn't care to try.

Serendipitously I stumbled upon an interesting and relevant video on the New York Times website. A family of Times journalist from Brooklyn, NY, spent 5 years in Moscow, Russia, sending their three American kids to a Russian-speaking private school. The 10-minute clip shows the hard adaptation process of each of the kids, highlights the cultural differences between the schools, the friendships that kids made and the strength that they gained from this amazing experience. I shared this video with both of my kids and to my surprise each fascinatingly watched the video till the very end, remarking on the resemblance of this kids' experience to ours. The link to this video.

I am so fortunate to stay home for now, to have luxury of time and patience to observe and guide our kids through this school adjustment process. However, kids realization that I am watching over them undoubtedly makes them more fragile and dependent. Our bonus for now is that both kids enjoy spending time with us much more than before. Probably for not too long..

Ehud Banai in Jaffa

There is a magical spell in the Israeli music.  It is either the Mizrahi (middle-eastern) motif swirls, or the simple and naive words about the future, love and understanding sang in this fragile land - but you feel it in your heart. When I first came to Israel in 1991, Galei Zahal (Israeli Army Radio) was my window from the four-bedroom apartment shared by seven new immigrants of various ages and distant relationships into the world of young and confident Israelis. I fell in love with the songs of Izhar Ashdod, Haverim shel Natasha, and Yehuda Policker.

We kept listening to these songs in LA and Boston, discovering new albums and artists on every visit to Israel, trying to recreate the sacred feeling of Iom Shishi (Friday) through Israeli newspaper and music. Together they served as a poison and anti-poison, with the newspapers usually being disturbing and  infuriating, while the music healing and nostalgic.

Moshe had always adored Ehud Banai and a few years ago bought two tickets for us to attend his concert in Boston.  A strong storm on that day dumped seven feet of snow, cancelling schools, altering traffic and job schedules.  Our babysitter called to cancel, afraid to drive on the slippery icy roads after the storm.  We were quite certain that the concert will not take place but the organizers insisted that Banai and his band are coming from NYC by bus.  Moshe went with a few of our friends, navigating his 4-wheel drive through the frozen Narnia land.  Banai and his group ended up arriving two hours late. They reciprocated by playing for three straight hours and the auditorium cheered by joining in, dancing and standing ovations.

Through their songs, Ehud Banai, Arkadi Duchin, Aya Korem, Nehama Sisters and others, brought us here. They may very well be the reason why thousands of Israelis living abroad always hope to go back one day, they are the best and most honest PR Israel has.

Now, our first outing back here is a concert of Ehud Banai in the Gesher theater in old Jaffa. Illuminated palm trees, cobblestone plaza and evening humidity seems to be a surrealistic alternative to Boston's snow. A Sepharadic rocker, singing inside a Russian theater, located in a mostly Arab town. Despite the biting price of the tickets the theater is packed. As soon as the songs come up we feel at home. 

One of my favorite songs "I will bring you" ("אביא לך")

Our First Week of School

Naor's wildest dream came true: his teacher drives to work on a motorcycle.  Here is a story of a cool Jewish mother that stops at nothing for her kids. She has two grown up kids and four vehicles at home. When her son finished the army and started working in Haifa while studying in Tel Aviv, she didn't want him to endanger himself riding his motorcycle long distance. So, she gave him her car, got a motorcycle license this summer and is now riding to school daily.

Nadia's teacher used to be a documentary movie producer. Now she is providing wonderful citations from Henry Ford and Cat in the Hat in every parent newsletter.

Both teachers gave the kids and us their emails and cell phone numbers, encouraging to call with any questions.

Naor has spent the last two weeks before school driving us and himself crazy from his loneliness. I couldn't schedule any playdates with the kids from his new class because everyone seemed to be on vacation. Then, in one day everything changed. He met with his teacher who invited along three kids from his class. After this he walked to their home and had a long playdate with two of them.  Arrived home in the afternoon only to tell us that he is going to a class party at some Frozen Yougurt place in the evening and someone is coming to pick him up.  Terrified from this sudden independence, Moshe rushed to set up a cell phone for Naor.

The kids do complain that it is too noisy in the class.
Unable to hear the homework explanation, Nadia just copies the homework assignment letter by letter from the board. Occasionally, we have to call her friend or teacher to figure out what it all means. Moshe mused that she should take a photo camera to school and do a snapshot of the board with the list of homework.

There is no nurse at school. This may be the biggest shock for our kids who are used to coming and socializing with their school nurses almost daily. Sometimes it is a real fever, sometimes a scratch, a belly ache or a bad mood. In fact, on the very first day when Naor was at school in the US, his nurse called me:
"Is it true that your child likes coming to the nurse's office?"
I was surprised: "Did the other school's nurse told you? This is just the first day."
"No, but I know the type. He has been here twice already today. A very nice boy."

They loved nurses and nurses loved them, giving them a nice white bed to lie on and confess and a box of apple juice that cured any ailment. Now, absence of such psychologist in their new school may turn to better or worse. Hopefully, it will make them stronger and reduce the minuscule complaints.

The fact that kids have a lot of school books (instead of the printed handouts given in their US school) turned out to have some consequences: their bags are very heavy. For now, they pull 5 kg / 11 lb back and forth daily. The teachers do offer to leave books at school but as experienced parents advice me, this usually leads to forgetting to bring home something essential for the homework or exam preparation.

The world is small! At the afterschool activities fair we recognized a couple from the past - Newton, Gan Yeladim. Our older kids went together to kindergarten 6 years ago. Now we are neighbors. Typically for Israel, they have 4 kids now while we are just catching up with the 3rd.

Nadia was not happy with her seat assignment in the class. "I sit next to a boy who makes fun of me and my table is far back in the class." But then it turned out that she occupies exactly the same seat as I did (back in Russia) in the 80th. That completely changed her attitude. I think we may be in trouble when kids need to rotate their seats in a few months.

School offers a number of the after-school activities on the premises. I was told that it is important for the newcomer kids to participate in the popular activities to help socialize with the classmates. This sure is true - I saw three girls practicing their splits for the Jazz club before the school bell.

The kids told me that a few grades have their classrooms in a bomb shelter - there was no other building to expand into. Bomb shelters here are not underground as we used to have in Russian schools, but rather reinforced concrete structures with only one hermetic door. I am sure it is strange to study in the classroom without windows, however I recollect that the most exciting work arrangements I ever had were old army hangars (low ceiling, no windows) that my Special Effects company, Boss Film Studios, occupied.

Homework is minimal so far, however on some days I have to sit hours with Nadia studying Gematria. Being The Math Mom, I thought myself an expert in different fields of math. But here came Gematria... According to Wikipedia, it is a system of assigning numerical value to a word or phrase, in the belief that words or phrases with identical numerical values bear some relation to each other. In Nadia's 3rd grade it is presented as a coding system where every letter of the Hebrew alphabet represents a number. Words are sums of the numbers of the letters.


Peculiarly, the following equation holds is gematria:
child = father + mother
אמ + אב = ילד
44 = 3 + 41

March of the Millions

Last night we decided to join the March of the Million demonstration in Tel Aviv, and pulled the kids along with us. While we have been settling down, fighting to get the internet and color on the TV, the country has been drumming social revolution. It is about the time we join because the reasons seem right. We slowly get a taste of the high cost of living. Most of the goods and service prices are same or higher than in the US while after-tax salaries are at least 50% lower. This all is while country's economy is blooming.  (See full chart of the cost of living comparison, Boston vs Tel Aviv)

March of Millions gathered hundreds of thousands (Israel's population is 7.5 million).  Cell phone companies tracking attendance reported around 300,000 people marching in Tel Aviv alone. It was an exciting, safe, peaceful, and polite demonstration of people who are very angry with their government. No windows were broken and no one beaten or injured.  On opposite, like in the Disney movies, a beautiful hot air lantern and hundreds of colorful balloons were released in the air above the plaza. It seems that in this resentment of government policies the country was united - there were kids in baby carriers, strollers, young people, old people; jews and arabs; people speaking Hebrew, English and Russian. 

This guy is holding a Captain Hook figure, masterfully crafted from balloons, with a sign: 

"The country is stealing even from me" while the Prada ad is winking in the background.

This Jesus-looking gentelman on the light pole holds a very poignant sign:

 "Growth for the sake of growth is policy fit for cancer." 

Yes, people were singing and dancing.

Our kids were in awe and despite the exhaustion we were so happy that they got a chance to see these young energetic nice Tel Avivians, and realize the power of people to influence the authority.